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I am giving up on chasing yours coattails, round and round we go, passing the same scenery time and time again. My lips are sealed this time, I've sown them shut. They no longer speak thoughts of romance and hope to you. I can't keep uttering these lies, because the feeling has drifted from my grasp. There is a difference, between loving someone and being in love; I just can't ignore that fact. Together, we were all alone. Keeping you would be a lie, so I have to let you go. I have to move forward, forgetting my fingers intertwined with yours, the sweet breathe on my neck, the promises we once made; I thank you for showing me what love really was, but it hurts to see what true love really does.
everything will be okay in the end.
if it's not okay.
it's not the end.
I have been at a loss of what to write about for weeks now. I have been pondering topic, after topic and nothing seems to stick. My mind is so disorganized and restless. Not knowing what to think, when to think or even how to think. Nothing seems to stick; it's so chaotic. I am tired of feeling this way, and I don't know how to end it.
I need a clean breeze to sweep me off my feet and give me something new and refreshing. I need a new feeling to dwell within my cavity.
My entire life I have been one to gravitate towards solid ground. I welcome and search for security in every aspect of my life. As of late, things have been a bit shakey. && I can't depend on or be sure about anything. Surprisingly, I am enjoying this sense of "not knowing". Taking everything day by day, and not knowing what lays before me when I awake again. It has become a comforting feeling. I think sometimes, it's better being unaware. [For now at least]. I prefer to pretend this does not exist. I prefer to steer my wandering mind away from those thoughts. Only to look towards the horizon.
I will find a solid foundation in the future.
But, for now. I prefer not to look for it.